Those NDA Days

THE BRILLIANCE OF SMS AND GD

To start off with, we had with us Surendra Mohan Singh Rathore of Sainik School Kunjpura, Karnal in India Squadron. The innate sense of humour, its timing, sense of rhyme and poetry and a vast collection of comic incidents involving his teachers, which he brought with him from school had in it the makings of an accomplished stand up comedian; much before the hackneyed artists in the dime a dozen shows, which one gets to see on the sponsored pay channels of Indian TV. At a time when we as first termers were finding our bearings and looking as lost as one can be, in the enormity of the NDA and its labyrinthine corridors; SMS, as he had been christened by us all, was busy studying the mannerisms and idiosyncrasies of seniors, appointments, instructors, teachers and officers in an effort to imbibe their gait, speech, accent, grammar, delivery, body language, expressions and humour in the officiousness of authority, as was wont to be their charge. When, the spirits were low and the body exhausted from physical extremes such as we had never experienced, and the strains of ‘IF’ were our sole hope of “even this shall pass”, SMS used to draw upon his huge talent and facility to make light of almost everything. The drudgery and pain of the moment used to be trashed in the humour produced by him. A hearty burst of laughter or else a quiet chortle on our lips when in the presence of officialdom, was an ideal rejuvenator which restored sanity in our beings amidst a barmy assortment of organizational hierarchy. Sandesh Kumar Prashar, an alumnus of St George’s College Mussoorie, whose father Lt Col Prithvi Chand, MVC is more popularly known in the annals of military history as the saviour of Ladhak, was our course senior. He had the unique ability to speak without opening his mouth and words slipped from between one side of his lips, in a mystery of human architecture and wonder of bio mechanics. Sandy is a dear friend and this is meant to be in the spirit of camaraderie, than fun at his cost. No hard feelings, brother. SMS was always rubbing Sandy on his uniqueness and caricaturing him in his actions and we all then being wet behind the ears, made the former an object of our devious entertainment.

The NDA was then a destination of posting for one of its most exciting and well remembered Deputy Commandant, Colonel Hari Kishan Kumar Shukla of the Kumaon Regiment. He along with his wife were the most visible faces to be seen snooping around Squadrons after lights out. For those cadets who had something going on for them in the privacy of their cabins with the venetian blinds pulled down and closed, the sudden appearance of HKK Shukla would jolt them out of their skins and jump into spontaneous attention. In a brief period of his having been around in the NDA, HKK had carved a reputation for himself as a Mr ‘X’. A movie character played with great élan by the doyen of Hindi cinema, Ashok Kumar Ganguly. One who could appear anytime in the most improbable of places to pounce upon those who transgressed rules. HKK and his wife were more of nocturnal people who roamed the avenues, boulevards and esplanades of NDA in the olive green coloured Chevrolet Staff Car, which was driven by an overtime paid civilian driver. Hailing from the ancient culture of Awadhi lifestyle, HKK and his wife were very fond of chewing on tobacco flavoured pan and betel nut, the juice from which often trickled down their chin whenever they attempted to speak. Quite reminiscent of the manner in which ‘Lucknavi Nawabs’ of yester years looked and spoke when watching nautch girls doing a seductive mujra. It was in those days of our stay here that another blessing visited India Squadron, in the person of Gagan Deep Bakshi,who was transferred from Charlie to India Squadron. GD as we all know him from those days is another talented and gifted person, who complemented SMS in their joint ability to mimic and caricature people.

SMS and GD had made it their one point agenda to lampoon HKK, whenever an opportunity to do so presented itself. The campfires and end of term socials were occasions when the two would combine their talents to have fun at the Deputy Commandant’s cost. It was no surprise that the audience would then be tickled and entertained as never before and the venue would often witness a roar of laughter coming from the cadets, officers and their wives. This phenomenon had become so commonplace that, the Academy authorities had to resort to passing a gag order on SMS and GD from any further Lampooning of HKK. But the two, incorrigible as they were then, continued to devise and manufacture opportunities to take on HKK and publicly snicker at him, under the subterfuge of entertainment. The famous parody of our times in the NDA, which Chortled HKK was written and sung by this duo and it ran thus – “Koi Bhi D Day Hota Nahin Hai Poora, Jab Tak Na Dekha Deputy Ka Chhera”.

It was during the time of Rear Admiral RK Batra as Commandant, that the NDA Day was to be celebrated among other things, with a fancy dress item presented by cadets in the main entrance to the revered SUDAN BLOCK. No one knew what was to happen at the fateful evening and fancy dress presentations were made in the alphabetical order of Squadrons. Mediocrity soon gave way to brilliance when it was the turn of India Squadron, to hold centre stage. Nothing happened for a while and the SCC and CSM anxiously looked around for the dramatis personae to arrive. But still there was no sign of anyone in the vicinity, till the lone yellow and black coloured taxi which used to be parked in the GOLE market was spotted approaching the venue from the NTT short cut road. It was driven by Pillai, its owner and making way for it to pull over at the steps of the SUDAN BLOCK was a smartly dressed GD in Walking Out, shouting aloud “Make Way”. None knew who was inside the car and what the matter was. Then the door was opened by GD and SMS emerged from it dressed in a white lungi, OG shirt with the badges of rank of a Colonel and full accoutrements including the Sam Browne belt of those days and a Peaked Cap with the distinctive red band around it. The feet were in slippers and a baton was tucked under his left armpit. Over his shoulders was slung an NDA issue satchel and a barber’s sling bag, with all its tools inside. The NDA satchel had a measuring tape and a pair of tailors scissors inside. SMS’ hair, as was visible under the Cap was suitably whitened to give him the resemblance of HKK and a trickle of pan juice adorned his mouth and chin. The Academy broke out into a roar of laughter and this became SMS’ cue to enact the character of HKK, complete with expletives, bullshit, gesticulations and finger pointing. At some he would dig into his bag to recover the barber’s scissors and chop a lock here and a curl there, while at others he would open his measuring tape to measure the bottom width of their mufti and walking out trousers. And doing so, he climbed up the stairs to confront HKK. The piece de resistance of this play acting was when SMS bent down to measure HKK’s trouser bottoms and said that since these were not regulation pattern 18” wide, these would have to be chopped off with the scissors that he was wielding. The Academy was bursting at its seams, the ladies were falling over each other in a hysteria of laughter and HKK though red faced with embarrassment was shaking hands with SMS for his brilliant lampoon act. Mrs Batra, the Commandant’s wife couldn’t help but hand over the best prize to SMS, who had become the bête noire of HKK.

SMS and GD continued to shock and lampoon seniors and officers even while they were in the IMA, Dehra Dun. GD, when he had just joined the IMA as a fresher in the third term, impersonated the Duty Officer and got the BCA of Charlie Battalion front rolling, in front of Imphal Company barracks. These two did what most cannot even dream of, but survived  owing to their daring and faith in their expertise, which defies odds even when these were loaded against them. This is what made them good and gifted officers who lived their careers with forthrightness and gumption. When the history of India Squadron is written, the names of SMS and GD will always have a place for themselves in its pages, adjacent to NJC Nair; another hero who immortalised the credo of the NDA ‘SERVICE BEFORE SELF’.

 Brigadier Sarvesh Dangwal

7554/ 39 / India Sqn